I just started reading Rachel Hollis‘s “Girl, Stop Apologizing” for the second time. In the introduction, she points to what she is no longer apologizing for. In her case, it’s having huge dreams and goal setting. So I got to thinking, what am I no longer willing to apologize for? For the many people who know me, I live my life fairly loudly, willing to talk about (with friends) almost anything. I stand by you and give you the kind of no nonsense advice you often need to hear come out of someone’s mouth other than your own.
I have previously apologized for being willing to be blunt with people, as if being blunt were somehow a bad thing. This is not to say I don’t know how to soft-peddle things to people, I generally chose not to. It’s easier for me to just give you the unvarnished truth and help you to deal with it than to soft-peddle you something and watch you be confused as to what the actual message is.
As a trainer, I find this is the best way to be. My trainees don’t have to worry about whether or not they’re making the grade, I tell them. I do so in an outright, upfront, forthright manner, so they don’t have to guess at what they’re doing right or wrong. Again, a way I handle things which might or might not win me any awards, but I’m not going to apologize for it.
There are too many things in my life I do apologize for. I apologize, occasionally, for not being a super big people person. My circle is small, intentionally. I’ve found throughout the years I can only keep so many details straight about so many people before I start to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of keeping up with it all. I chose to, therefore, curate the people in my life I spend large amounts of time with so that I can keep up with them in a manner I prefer. Nothing against anyone in particular, simply a personal choice.
Another thing I often apologize for is dressing exactly the way I want. Sometimes I look put together, sometimes I don’t. It’s me being me. Or the dreaded laundry day dilemma of nothing being clean. Regardless, I have apologized for that. However, how I dress has nothing to do with how I do my jobs. In one case, I change clothes as soon as I get to work, negating the need to wear anything special because my clothes are chosen for me.
All that being said, I intend to stop apologizing for these things. There are probably dozens more, but those specifically I will stop apologizing. I will wear what I want and love/care for who I want without apology for it. If that’s a problem, you’re welcome to show yourself the door.
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