You know the quote, “the only way out is through;” well, that’s what I’ve been up to. I started “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron with some friends a couple weeks ago. It has been an enlightening journey into my creative psyche. Morning pages, the hallmark of the program, were something I was sort of doing previously with my daily journaling exercises; however, I didn’t realize how much I censored myself. That was, until I stopped writing like some day someone else was going to read what I wrote in my journal. I hadn’t realized that was what I was doing until I let myself start to write all the generalized minutiae in my mind. I mean, seriously, how many totally asinine thoughts do I have in the course of writing three pages? A bunch. Here are the Morning Pages and their revelations about me.
The Artist’s Way
A number of years ago, a woman by the name of Julia Cameron wrote a book called “The Artist’s Way”. It’s been in print long enough the version I’m working out of is the 25th Anniversary edition. It posits we are all creatives and thus creativity, often heralded as the realm of the special, can be taught because it is our, each of our, unique gift from the Creator. Yes, it does sound a little woo-woo, but she has a firm grounding for the thought. She also says creativity isn’t bound inextricably to the things we first think of when we think of Art with a capital A.
As a writer, and one of those children nurtured into the idea their ability to create makes them special, I was a little affronted and afraid confronted with the notion I’m not special. However, that’s just perfect. It removes the pressure. If I’m not special and my talent, such as it is, is as unique as beach sand, then I don’t have to prove anything. I can simply BE. That’s awesome.
All things considered, it has been freeing just writing to write. I haven’t really been writing much else, but that’s a story for another day. If you’re interested in reading other things I’ve written, buy a book.
Morning Pages and their Freedom
As I said, there is freedom in knowing no one, NOT EVER, is going to read what you wrote. You can be something you probably haven’t been in a while, honest. Being honest with yourself is freedom. Three pages, every day, of unobstructed freedom. Freedom to consider. Freedom to dream. Freedom to wonder. And yes, freedom to learn yourself. That is where the exercises and the chapters come in. They get you thinking. I, honestly, have a lot of non-asinine thoughts during the Morning Pages as well. Like the fact some of my closest confidantes are also the people I’m the most afraid of knowing the REAL me. I don’t want to disappoint them. Yet it means I am not living my authentic presence around them. I’m hiding.
Also, I am a shadow artist in other artistry which isn’t writing. I fear rejection for the daring. Therefore, I do not dare.
What do those things mean? It means I can and do need to change. I need to live who I am in front of everyone around me. I need to branch out in my ‘art’ and allow myself to believe I can do more than just write. It’s frightening and a little freeing to get those thoughts out of my head and onto paper where they can stare me in the face. The revelation, I didn’t know I thought that until I wrote it down. Crazy thing coming to those realizations.
What to Do if You’re Not Living Your Best Life
Suppose you start doing the Morning Pages and find out your life is a shambles. You are a shadow artist who literally sees rejection at every turn. What if that is what you find? Well, here is what you do if you find out you are not living your best life. Change. If you are not living your best life, change. Find a way. Make a way and change. I’m singing more because I believe I have a decent voice and I’ve always wanted to. I’ve tried my feet at dancing recently. I will find a way to get a keyboard and start learning piano again. I gave away my old one because I got scared and decided I would never use it again. Oh well, choice made and some choices become regrets. Do not let another day pass without making a move. It can be a small move.
Sing in the shower. I started here.
Go buy some flowers. I haven’t done this yet, but I plan to.
Make a meal and eat it on the good china. I don’t own any good china, but I made a delicious meal just for me.
You aren’t going to get out alive, so you might as well leave something of yourself behind. Shower the world with your art, whatever form it takes.