Authenticity. Sometimes I feel as if I’m chasing it. Occasionally, it runs from me like a wild gazelle does a lion. Other times, it is the proverbial butterfly. It lands in my hand as soon as I put down the net.
What is Authenticity?
For me, and this is totally subjective, it is the state of being one’s true self. I admitted in an earlier post, I don’t always show my true self to everyone. Fact is, I don’t show my true self to anyone but a few carefully chosen people. Why? Because like the rule of magic which says: Knowing the true name gives you power, knowing the real me gives another power. Being your authentic self around someone who does not understand it may mean it’s destruction. Does this mean authenticity is precious? Yes and no. Yes, it can be destroyed by those who are not understanding, but that doesn’t mean one should hide it away under a bushel.
Sharing Your Authenticity.
If your authenticity is both precious and not, then that means one makes decisions about whom to share it with. In my case, I have an incredibly small cadre of people with whom I am 100% myself. Why is this? Because these are the people who have shown me that they can understand me in multiple phases. Maybe not all since, to my knowledge, they are all human, but in many of my different phases. I can have opinions which don’t mesh with theirs without any eye clawing. So how do you choose who you share your authenticity with? Test the waters. Float an idea you believe in but won’t rock the boat too much. Check how they react. Yes, I am literally saying set a possible trap for a friend, but hear me out. If they cannot accept a difference of opinion from you, perhaps you are not friends.
There are those who will be there for you no matter what and they should be shown your authentic self, that way they know who they’re coming to be there for.
Authenticity and Family
I would love to say my family gets the authentic me, but that is a lie from the bowels of Hades. I, like many, love my family enough not to want to upset them. Therefore, I chose to keep a fairly sanitized version of myself available for them. This is a choice. One I even sometimes regret. And, honestly, my family is pretty easy to deal with; therefore, I can only guess how much people whose families aren’t as easy to deal with hide themselves. Is this a bad thing? Sometimes. If you’re hiding earth-shattering, tsunami size secrets, then you should probably let the family in on them without causing anyone a heart attack. But if you’re softening your edges just a bit to make sure that Grandma still loves you, then you’re probably okay to just keep going. Especially since it’s Grandma, she’s not going to live forever.
Knowing who you are also means knowing who you can share that with. Authenticity means being one’s true self, but like anything worth having, it just might not be for everyone.