To drive or be driven. More and more these days, I think about the distinction between the two. When I think of driving, I think of someone who has chosen a destination and thus is in control of their fate. When I think of being driven, I see cattle. They don’t decide their destination and in fact are being taken somewhere that if they had a choice, they wouldn’t go.
As John Hartness points out in his discussion of nanowrimo, there is a good way and a bad way to do this. Truthfully, I’ve done it both ways. The good way: it pushes you, helps you see a way forward without making you feel as if you have no other choices. The bad way: it becomes a taskmaster that does nothing but make you miserable as you try to keep up with its demands. Nanowrimo has been both of those things for me in turns. This year, because I have already proven to myself I can beat nano without a whole heck of a lot of effort, it was just an exercise in seeing how far I could get toward finishing a piece. I cracked 50K on day 21 and sort of lollygagged through the rest of the month. Day 30 has passed; nanowrimo is over.
But back to my understanding of driving or being driven. I occasionally feel as if my creativity drives me to do certain things. I cannot not write. It is as integral to me as breathing and it helps to keep me sane. However, my writing career is not a driving factor in my life, it is a choice. I am driving that decision. It all comes down to choice. Whether or not whatever you are dealing with is a choice. Why is this important: well, let’s be honest, if you’re not doing one, you’re probably doing the other. Either you are making choices or choices are being made for you.
In my writing career, I’ve often been told I have to do certain things. I’ve been driven to attempt things in order to strive for something I’m not even sure I want, a definition of success I did not decide on. Therefore, I need to stop, reconsider, decide, and then move forward. I should be driving my career not the other way around. The $.99 strategy is one of them. I don’t feel like I made that decision as much as I felt like I should and thus did it to appease something outside of myself. These days, I’m letting that go. These days, I’m making decisions and choices which reflect my view of success. I’m driving rather than allowing something else to drive me.
Alledria is the author of a number of novels including the She Becomes Death universe and the Fate Circle Saga. All are available by clicking here.