My grandfather died on December 9, 2016. On December 17, 2016, we placed him in the ground. In the between time, the family came together and prepared for this event. Of course, there was a certain amount of upset, but overall things weren’t terribly bad. I think a lot of that had to do with the simple fact we knew it was coming. Prior to his death on the 9th, he spent time in hospice. While it is true someone can live for quite a while in hospice, I was taught as a hospice volunteer once they stop eating you can basically count the days. He had stopped eating at least a day or two prior to be admitted into hospice, so the end was definitely upon us.
Why am I choosing to be depressing right now? Death, as many have said before me, forces you to reconsider things. What’s important? I tweeted recently: The greatest #horror of my life would be the # of things I would leave undone if I died today. I have previously complained about the number of things I have in my COMPLETED WORKS folder. 99% have never seen the light of day off my computer. I’ve started to work on that, getting it out into the world instead of just continuing the forward motion of creating, creating, creating without truly finishing the process and putting it out for consumption by the public. Part of me wants to think it’s too little, too late. Time is escaping and there is nothing I can do about that. Yet if I take that line of thinking, nothing will ever get done, and I will spend years without making any progress. So I chose the path of optimism, saying I have time. I have plenty of time. Now I just have to use it.
Another part of the writing process I’ve never really been any good at is submitting. I just recently let a submission window close on a project without finishing the submission I started. Unfortunately, the submission window ended on Dec. 15 and try as I might, I just couldn’t bring myself to finish the work I started while dealing with a death in the family and moving into a new apartment. There will be others. In fact, I have a short list of places and their corresponding due dates. I have time and I’m going to use it.